there's someone at rehab who's a bit...ungrounded. i suppose some folks call that psychosis. i do feel some concern for him, but it's not just due to his mental illness or whatnot. i'm angry at how he's being treated. his parents sent him here even though he wanted to be at home, he told everyone - at his most grounded-seeming, too - that he had a good life at home, he's wanted to leave ever since he got here, and
1 like
just learned a horrible fact. so. i take people at their word. i hold space for everyone basically living in entirely different realities, and as such i just. take people at their word. cause, how would i know about their reality, their world, better than they do? apparently this way of thinking/listening is extremely rare, and apparently, when almost everyone around me listens to someone else talk,
4 likes
benny1548132
1 week ago
they are in fact trying to keep an active awareness, somehow, of embellishment, exaggeration, 'self-deception,' distorted perspectives, etc., in other words. everyone around me is convinced that they can actually know other people better than those people know themselves, and they're waiting to catch them lacking
3 likes
benny1548132
1 week ago
i actually think that this constant fucking quiet interrogation psyop BS is worse than whatever anyone could possibly do to me or another person with the story they choose to tell about their experience/s. it's so offensive. i am scared. sane, sober people scare me. i want to take people seriously when i talk, and to be taken seriously when i talk. i want to assume narration is credible
3 likes
4 likes
https://uquiz.com/quiz/tTOKGn/what-cigarette-are-you i got marlboro golds and i think that's all pretty correct except i can't be normal even when i try but i'm also not indie?? anyway. the rest is accurate including the fruitcake thing
2 likes
sorry i never got back to you on the xmpp idea, this month is only less than a week old and already it's been a whirlwind!
2 likes
2 likes
badgraph1csghost
1 month ago
Same. I know theres a native linux port of gajim which ill look into when i have some more time.
2 likes
okay but i just realized i should look for a new email provider cause proton ain't shit
5 likes
do you use xmpp/jabber/gajim
1 like
2 likes
proton isnt letting me send you emails because "mailbox quota exceeded" :(
2 likes
benny1548132
2 months ago
yeah i fucking hate them for that!! i'm gonna search around for non-Discord chat clients (i hate Discord) (suggestions wlecome) and let you know my username/s, somehow,
1 like
1 like
I was a bit less active on the social side here and I only noticed you gone far too late. I'm sorry. I was happy to read you were able to move away from a terrible situation and that things have started to look up a little. I hope you keep doing well, you deserve that!
7 likes
benny1548132
4 months ago
um i. was not able to move out of my parents' home. if you are referring to metaphysically moving away from being prepared to die then yeah i am more willing to live now. i am working on the moving out thing. those two things are related i think. also. no harm no foul. you can still email me bro and even if you don't i still have a soft spot in me for those that actually care about me. we good
2 likes
![olly place :] avatar](/site_screenshots/33/48/ollyjunkyard/index.html.50x50.webp)
now staff want to medicate him into being more sane. i suppose it would be better for him to be grounded again, but then again, i think his psychosis is caused by the stress he's undoubtedly been feeling! everyone talks to him like he's a brick wall, he can't really hear you, but i know that's not true. he's scatterbrained, sure, but he can listen. he is kind. he tries his best to be kind to people, and animals.
i am absolutely convinced that even if he was still a little...strange, at home, he really did feel better & more grounded, at home, and having him come here - forcing him to stay here - are not good or kind decisions on the part of his parents or the staff here. i don't even know why i'm sharing all this. i'll prolly delete it all soon. i hate this.