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checked out your site dude! The part about liking so much stuff u dont know what to make ur theme is real asl lol. One thing i notice people do a lot is have completely different (or at least very distinct) styles for each sub-page in their site (edit: so it's like you dont have to stick to just one). just some food 4 thought :) good luck on the site!
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This hit hard. I was just like that, keeping distance from my mother, because as much as I loved her I couldn't stand her at times. Then she suddenly passed away 2 months ago and it left me feeling sorry for the missed opportunities to spend quality time. Life is short. Even shorter than we anticipate sometimes...