Man this is relatable. Had some thoughts on “press start to continue” unfortunately too long in the writing of for the neocity comment sections. Accursed word limits. But also don’t feel like writing a 20 message thread, so have a doc link instead. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-M4QbD2Iq2ziCcfmT2R7iWJPMy04dptF7mNiBRAdpm0/edit

Thank you for your kind words, I'm happy someone else could relate to my situation enough to give such a thoughtful response. Truth be told I'm not used to it. I left my proper response as comments in the document, and while I already said it there, I do once again apologize if I came off as rude toward the end there, but I felt like that was a good time to adress that interest of yours that I've long been aware of.

No thank you for taking the time to respond as in depth as you did! And you have no need to apologize! I don’t think you were rude at all. I deeply appreciate your honesty. Frankly I prefer that level of candidness. It’s refreshing. I too left a more in depth response to you in the doc. I do apologize for the delay in getting back to you, but I wanted to take the proper time and care in crafting a suficent response.

Ps. I fiddled with some settings so hopefully you shouldn’t be locked out again but let me know if you have any trouble accessing the doc

Oh, yes, I forgot about your response here as well. It was no problem, I try to be as thorough in my replies to such responses as possible, though I don't get many.

I'm also glad things seemed to be cleared up (or rather, didn't need to be). I'm used to people taking my honesty for rudeness, and while I honestly don't really care most of the time, you are a friend of friends, and not only was I asked to play nice with you by them and respect that request, but you seem to be a good friend to them, and it would be a shame if you thought less of them for their association with me.

I know what you mean. Was brought up Dutch, we say what we think. But it often comes across as rude. Growing up in the states I’ve learned the soft wording of Americans. But lot of my fam either never succeeded in learning or never cared to, so they are quite blunt and not very pc at times, for to be anything but brutally honest is seen as rude and deceptive.

I appreciate you playing nice lol. Though I would never think less of my friends for who they are friends/ associate with. Besides the friends in question tend to have good taste in people, and based on talking to you & what I have seen and heard I’d say this continues to hold true 🙂‍↕️ imao.

Well, while I'm not Dutch, I am (possibly) autistic- so unlike you I don't even have the fortune to able to be honest with my own family. I am an anomaly among them. These ideals and virtues I hold to are mine, and mine alone. If I developed them from anywhere, it was the old internet on which I grew up. A freer, more honest place than now.

I'm glad to hear that, btw. They're good people. I'm not always so sure about their taste in others, but I hope you're right. I like to think so, even if I can't know so. I'm usually cited as proof of their lack of taste, so, we'll see if that judgement holds.

Eyyy same! (The tism I mean) though was only caught very recently, quite by accident. Before, all the signs got excused away as adhd or Dutch/ German cultural quirks. (Ngl a good chunk of the fams prob on spectrum, just doesn’t know it.) Even so still doesn’t make for smooth sailing. brutal honesty and such doesn’t always guarantee understanding or agreement.

Truth be told, despite them being a little odd themselves I don’t really fit in with em. They are still relatively normal, and I get the feeling they never quite know what to make of me.(always felt like a changeling child the fae swapped their real kid with). Or a weird creature they settled on raising cause… well what else ya gonna do?

Well I guess every fams got its issues. Mines no exception. Brutal honesty still can lead to honest discord. Lot of different strong personalities. Need a thick skin by necessity. Sorry to hear your fams not one you can be yourself around, that always sucks (getting a taste of that myself from the s.o’s fam.)

Welp, one may not be able to chose one’s fam but I have found at least one can chose one’s friend’s. And they can be near close as fam in my experience, even if they’re only online. (As they often are in these days.)

Ah I miss the old internet. Sadly only caught the tail end of that era. Got properly online in late middleschool early highschool abouts. And by than the change was already started. But even catching the last days of it, I prefer it as it once was. Hang out with lot of folks who where there for the golden age, ah the tales they tell…better times indeed.

Well taste is subjective right? Not everyone has to be to everyone else’s taste. To those who cite you as proof of a lack of taste, one has to consider what theirs are. Some folks have a narrower or wider pallet than others. Still can’t judge books by covers or reviews, sometimes ya gotta read a book and find out for oneself. Time will tell

Yes, it's a struggle. I've never been officially diagnosed, I largely just joke in the manner that channers always have, but there's a reason that joking became a thing. Actually autistic or not, my experiences are very much akin to the many actual autists I've met and befriended. It seems that with such an affliction, one is always destined for a life of strife and non-belonging.

I am a relic. An out-of-place artifact of a time long post but, imho, far ahead from today. The old net was a different place, full of different people, with different ideas and etiquette. Harsh words that could get your life destroyed today were common. Of course, it was also easier to avoid such repercussions because no one was dumb or cattle enough to plaster their name and face everywhere.

We'll see if our mutual friend's judgement holds up to scrutiny. I am, as you've noticed, honest about who and what I am. I won't lie to you, or pretty up my honest judgements. Doing and being so, I believe, is the one true and ultimate freedom we have as human beings. And as a forewarning, I shan't give up my anonymity as easily as they have been to. History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.

Eyyyy no game no life mention? Based.

Had thoughts reading this. Been meaning to write a full comment for a while I just keep forgetting/pushing it off, but better late than never. Once again… my thoughts are too much for the humble comment section. Here’s a doc link. https://docs.google.com/document/d/10GBijvtkr9jIdFugn6zpTG2iEOBp74ni9k7RlMnfR-I/edit Tldr: be gandalf, zoocosis is a bitch, are you aware of the humble olm? Wrote some other stuff too…

Yes! I love NGNL, have since I first watched it back in the day. Glad to see a fellow enjoyer. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to respond to all that you wrote in your doc, and it seems that it's now been locked. I can't remember all you wrote, but I do recall some rather kind words, so I appreciate it. Apologies if my being busy made it seem that I didn't take kindly to your response or anything of the sort.

Ah sorry about that, wasn’t an intentional lock out, been having technical issues on my end. Didn't even realize it was locked so thanks for telling me. Should be fixed and unlocked, I do apologize for any misunderstandings. And no worries I know how life can be so don’t worry about taking ones time. I’m grateful you’ve been taking time to respond at all!

That's alright, it happens. Sorry I took so long to start getting back to you, as always: I've been rather busy the past week.

Hey no worries! I know how life can get. We respond when we can. Thanks for your latest response. You have given me much to ponder✨🤔

A few years ago I visited the zoo in Sibiu, Romania. I personally found it pretty disappointing and underwhelming. It is now that I realize the misery of those wild animals kept captive. Life kept in cages is ugly because it is not allowed to grow, because it is not allowed to actually live, both in the case of humans and other animals.

Man I remember being obsessed with kagerou project back in Highschool. The music especially. What a throw back. It’s been forever since I’ve listened to em, due for a revisit fr

Ah, I seem to have missed this reply of yours. I wish Neocities notified us when someone replied to older posts. But yes, KagePro was an obsession of me and my friends back in middle school. It meant a lot to us then, and still does to me now. It's nostalgic, in a melancholic sense. I recommend going back to it every once in a while, if they meant anything to you what they do to me. I listen on my scant excursions.

Neocitys be that way sometimes. And indeed I did go back and gave a relisten, shortly after I wrote up my initial response actually. Wow, and I'm glad I did. Despite the time thats passed the feelings the music stirs up are no less strong than they once where. If even more so with time. Nostalgia and melacholic is right. Those quality's especially are probably only gonna strengthen with time

Summers always come to an end, but we can still cherish the memories.

Facts. I blame my schools unofficial idol club (a group of upperclassmen girls who did idol dances on the local convention circuit) never joined them for their con performances but I did regularly take part of their dance practice during lunch. (Anyone who wanted could join the practice sessions) They introduced me to kagerou project, Touhou, vocaloid and the like. Learned a lot of cool stuff from them. Good times

Interesting. I never imagined those were a thing, or that any gals before 2020 gave a shit about vocaloid, let alone 2hu. For me, I basically grew up with the stuff, had been listening to vocaloid on YouTube since I was about, oh 8 or so? All my interaction with all this stuff only occurred online, I was always too young to go to cons myself, and once I was I had lost interest and never went to one until recently.

Ikr? It’s a fun niche fr. And yeh lots of gals love this stuff, even back in the day. (Had 2 friends Obsessed with 2hu. Unfortunately never got a chance to play any of the games myself.) than again I went to a small/ weird highschool where most everyone was some sort of nerd, otaku, geek or other flavor of weird kid. normies were the minority.

Oh sick! You’re a vocaloid og I see. I came late to the party (as I often do😭) around 2013. but once I got a taste, YouTube was a god send for discovering more. Speaking of online communities, are u familiar with durarara and if so did you ever take part in the dollars forums? Made friends there with some real interesting folks back in the day.

Yeh you mentioned going to a con in one of your writings! U did ngnl casual cosplay iirc? They can be a lot of fun, but also overwhelming. I remember the first con I went to I didn’t have any friends with me 2 of the three days I was there. It was intimidating but in the end was a neat time

Hmm, I guess in fairness I was so used to the idea of being ostracized for my interests I never bothered to ask or reveal that I liked vocaloid. Hiding one's power level was common practice before normies suddenly decided they too were "nerds". But yes, I've always liked vocaloid. While it still goes strong in many ways, I prefer the older stuff. It reminds me and I think is emblematic of better times.

Speaking of, I recall watching Durarara as it aired, and yes I used both the old Dollars BBS forum and the accompanying DRRR chat room site that emulated the one from the show. I didn't really make any friends there, though. I had many an interesting conversation, but I'm afraid even for relatively early days of anime becoming mainstream here, the Durarara fandom was full of people who I wasn't compatible with.

As for going to a con in casual Sora cosplay, it was certainly interesting to say the least. Still not sure they're my particular cup of tea. Beyond being intimidating, many of the con-goers were not "my people", despite what I'd been told by the more optimistic of my compatriots, though I perhaps made the mistake of taking the advice of a normie con goer, instead of trusting my gut.

Nah thats understandable. I remember a time when folks would get beat up if it was found they liked anime or such. As a kid I figured I was always gonna be ostracized for who I was and what I liked, regardless if I hid it or not, so I thought eh, damed if I do, damed if i don’t, may as well just be me.

That and the bullies who tried to give me trouble realized (eventually) that I wasn’t worth messing with as I wasn’t afraid to fight back. The high school I went to was a little oasis away from all that. Then that odd change happened and suddenly anime was cool for everyone?

Oh for sure, the new stuff in vocaloid is fun, and I adore it in its own right, but the old vocaloid just has a different feel, Could be nostalgia on my part, but I gotta agree with you, better times indeed.

Eyyy nice. Quite liked durarara, Been so long, forgot the exact site names. Ngl the friends I made were sparse and I’ve lost track of em since. Made more temp acquaintances than anything. But I know what you mean. Lot of interesting characters on site…

…Which on the one hand can make for interesting conversations, or debates, as was often the case with me. On the other, Some folks… well, “not being compatible with” is a very nice way to put it. Admittedly I was a little bit of a troll in those days and had a little too much fun messing with folks. All harmless fun really, but some folks, don’t like jokes.

With regard to cons, its also worth noting they are kinda all different. Not just size but also scope, what niches they have and who they cater to. Most massive cons are generalist, got a little something for everyone. But by virtue of their size, finding one’s niche and one’s people isn’t a guarantee, and why it helps to go with like minded friends to better help one’s chances of finding said niches.

Small and midsize cons tend to (but don’t always) focus on a more specific niche. Easier to find ones people assuming the con one is at is geared toward one’s interest. Something to also consider, cons with similar niches or audience can still have a totally different feel. For example South florida anime con panels are kinda shallow and you see one set of panels you seen em all for the rest of time…

…Insert the latest fandom trend here. Were as anime boston panels were almost academic in the depth and rigor. Felt like a college lecture, well-researched and unique. They focused on alot of classics and retro stuff. (Not to say you couldn’t find new things there to) but I noted that these two cons which on the surface seemed like they would be the same in all but location and maybe size, where actually rather dif.

Yes, people forget just how recently things changed regarding popular attitudes toward "nerd shit". Often purposefully so. I always preferred to just not deal with it. Especially since often it was my own family giving me shit, not just the kids at school. Regarding vocaloid: I think a lot of modern works try too hard to emulate modern, popular music. Back in the day, people experimented more, were more amateur.

For me, I think there just wasn't the depth and rigor of thought that I desire on those chatrooms and forums. As always and just about everywhere, I felt like an alien. I had hoped we would try to do actual Dollars things, and while admittedly, there isn't much teenagers can do- it was mostly just online LARPing. I think I have a similar problem with cons. Maybe I just need to go to more, idk.

I don't have any IRL friends, and while I know the guys would love to meet up at a con or something, I prefer to remain the mysterious, shadowy, anonymous ringleader of this whole operation. I value my anonymity greatly.

Indeed. Gotten a taste recently of that with more distant fam I recently discovered. Well that and my siblings a class A normi so got so much judgment from em. Did not get along till super recently when nerdy become cool. Sorry to hear your fams like that. Sucks to deal with so I get not wanting to.

Now the you mention it I see what you mean with vocaloid. Could be part of the reason it’s become more popular (popular music is popular for a reason) reminds me of the state of filk music. Lot of fandom music today is technically good and popular but I love and cherish the old school stuff (70s/80s). Sure it may be more amateur or perhaps the quality was scuffed. But I love it regardless. one of my fave music genres

Yeh it was kinda larping (Wich can be fun if that’s your thing) I remember mostly only a hand full of kids on site who where trying to do “real dollar things” but not very well thought through if I’m being honest. Like bro one probably should not be picking fights with real life LA gangs (as they where suggesting)

Cons are all pretty varied. Some are gonna be more larp vibes or more normi friendly and some are still true to the old days and ways, especially the niche cons. Also depends what you want out of a con. I recommend talking to vendors for research, as they travel the con circuit they know the various con vibes best.

These days privacy is a thing to be treasured. Though it occurred to me, there may yet be a way to do both (hang out with the lads yet remain shadowy and anonymous) I know someone in the med field , for as “accepting” of nerd culture the world has become, if his patients or work place found out he goes to cons, would be ruinous for his career…

…He gets around this and remains anonymous by cosplaying darth revan. The flowing robes disguise his build and his mask not only hides his face but also muffles/ disguises his voice. For several cons I never knew what this man looked like despite hanging out all day.

Cons are THE place for obscuring/ transformative costumes. Sith, mascots, gundum, knights ex. (the later would work especially well with your name sake) Granted it’s got its downsides. Depending on the cosplay, fabric, fans ex. they can get hot and/or cumbersome (I hear the knights fits are the most comfortable in this regard) but one can design around all that.

eating and drinking can also sometimes be a hassle but it can be quite manageable depending on the cosplay. Might not be your thing or something for a higher level. But something to consider if you ever wanted to do both

It is what it is. Both my family, and modern music. I also prefer the classic stuff, 70s and 80s music, the works. Modern mainstream stuff is largely slop, but what can ya do. At least we still have the oldies to listen to, and more underground modern music that's not terrible.

TBH, I've considered going the cosplay route, but I know my lab mems well enough to know with 100% certainty that they would not respect my desire for anonymity and rip any mask or whatever I wear off my face.

Indeed it is. Oh sick! Got any recommendations of things you especially like? Most modern stuff I hear tends to be kinda forgettable to me. And the modern stuff I like is not super well known. What can one do? Prob as you suggest, there’s plenty of oldies to listen to. And so I’m always looking to find more things I haven’t yet encountered, to add to my list. The quest for knowledge includes music🙂‍↕️

Ah that’s a shame. Yeh cosplay disguises only really work if folks respect one’s boundaries. Ah well. In that case makes sense ya can’t do both

Hmm... There's a lot I could recommend, both new and old, but I'm not sure what all you know and don't know. I think, when I have the time, I'll make a music recommends page on here. That's more to my already sizeable workload, but that's alright.

I look forward to seeing your recommendations. Though I know what you mean with the work load. Have a ton of projects myself in the works and only so much time in a day. And all the time I have more ideas for more projects to add to my list.