i keep getting emails saying people commented so its really tough to try and stay away. i swore i wouldnt come back until i am ready. see i deleted everything in case i leave the world on my own accord because the way i looked at myself in the mirror was pure disgust and hatred. and i swear thats what everyone thinks when they see me too. but the support says otherwise and its leaving me confused

i just want to say i am fine for those who are worried but again i dont know what i want. im still extremely lost and idk how to recover from that. but i appreciate the support. maybe ill try and find an archive i have if you all really want there to be at least something on my page.

i want to thank rat in particular, giving me your time helped me a little bit. so thank you

First of all, this medium is kind of limited to get more direct interaction with you. This is why when I meet people and they need help or care I prefer to have them on some kind of messenger, it cuts the loop of doubt, delay and more that a forum, or a comment facility like this might cause. Help me to help you is what I am saying actually...